Having a pandemic quarantine baby means you really, REALLY don’t go anywhere. I literally can’t even fathom taking him to a Store. It took us weeks to even take the dude for a walk. So …
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HAVE BABY, WILL TRAVEL
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at 3 months
Baby will start to turn towards sound Baby will start to grasp the concept of cause and effect ‘Baby can SENSE WHEN YOU ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM, AND WHEN YOU’RE NOT, so going forward, …
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New Rock Bottom
Our Zoom baby class teacher told us that once we had Joe, once he came out ready to party at 4 AM, we would discover what she called a New Rock Bottom. Like, whereas before …
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Back to Work
Turn off your Away Message Shut your Office Door Listen for the sound of your kid through that Door Think about your kid, and wonder if that thing they did the other day was normal, …
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Mom and Dad’s Room
Remember how when you’re little, there is Mom and Dad’s room, and the bed is as big as the World, it’s too high for you to crawl onto so you must be lifted onto it, …
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JOE 2020
A HISTORIC DAY. A WOMAN OF COLOR in the White House, a reason to finally exhale, the welcoming of hopefully 4 years of palate cleansing calm, gentle steps towards a shared Middle. FIRST THINGS FIRST: …
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(don’t) sleep
What is the word for when all you want is your kid to go to sleep because you need ten minutes to pee and try and get the spit-up stain off the couch, and when …
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Gnome Sweet Gnome
I’ve never been too big on Halloween, but I’m not gonna sleep on an opportunity to put a baby in a costume. So for Joe’s first Halloween, we tapped into his whimsical, discerning nature and …
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VOTER FRAUD
IT’S REAL. FINALLY, SOME PROOF. It’s not the people voting twice we have to worry about, nor the Zombies, it is the BABIES. They’re crawling to the booths in vast numbers, demanding more bright and …
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Bedtime Routine
All of the blogs and books recommend that you establish a bedtime routine for your kid, that soothes them, winds them down, and lets them know that sleep is coming. Given that we are highly …