I just caught a glimpse of the actual size of my butt in a mirror, like an actual mirror, not a mirror in which I control my image of myself, and it cast great doubt …
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BUTT TRUTH
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He will be Fine
Morrison and I now have five months of scattered doctors appointments, blood draws, ultrasounds and measurements, before the Young Sir decides to live on Earth, instead of in our mind’s eye, or my uterus. Each …
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why to Instagram
Instagram is dumb and a time suck and also threatens to make you feel sad about your life for no reason, but then also sometimes it captures these beautiful little bits of humanity. I just …
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Rage
I feel like Rage doesn’t suit me. It’s not my natural or go-to state. The closest thing I think I’ve felt in the past is frustration, which is a gateway drug to Rage, the Diet …
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The Easiest Part
My friend Maggie and her boyfriend Grimur had a little Girl about 6 months ago, as weird and beautiful as her parents. I kept asking Maggie what her daughter’s name was, and she kept saying, …
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HUGE LIFE NEWS
I finally realized something, perhaps 15 years too late: When I (inadvertently or…vertently?) hurt or piss someone off, and I realize that this has happened, and I then spiral with guilt and shame over having …
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why to let your Dad shop for your Husband
THIS HAPPENS. Then your Grandma proceeds to tell your husband he has a nice butt, and you say ‘You’re right grandma, in fact, it was in fact one of the first things I liked about …
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Self Esteam
Me, to Morrison: There’s some weird steam happening on the side of our house right now. Here’s a video. Morrison: ….That’s steam. Steam happens when water evaporates. Like when it rains. The sun heats up …
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SOOTHING INDOOR PLANTS
purchases indoor plants to create a relaxing, soothing home environment attempts to keep plants alive PLANTS SHRVEL AND DIE FILLS WITH THE RAGE AND ANXIETY THAT COME HOLDING HANDS WITH FAILURE AND WASTE OF MONEY …
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re: Cats; Bags
Never, under any circumstances, should you let the Cat out of the Bag. Not even because you might spoil secrets, but because CATS STUCK IN BAGS, AND WATCHING CATS EXTRACT THEMSELVES FROM BAGS ONCE THEY’VE …