at 3 months

  • Baby will start to turn towards sound
  • Baby will start to grasp the concept of cause and effect
  • ‘Baby can SENSE WHEN YOU ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM, AND WHEN YOU’RE NOT, so going forward, for the rest of your life, never stop paying attention to him
  • Baby will start to be able to hold his head up
  • Baby will soon roll over, laugh
  • Baby will start keeping his bedroom door shut to you
  • Baby will starting asking if he can go to Lance’s house after school
  • Baby will start taking college pre-reqs at the local community college
  • Baby will register for a political party
  • Baby will form a belief system separate from yours
  • BABY, HOWEVER, CANNOT STOP HIMSELF FROM EXPLOSIVELY POOPING UP HIS OWN BACK, WHICH YOU ARE REQUIRED TO CLEAN FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE

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