Ever since Joe’s arrival, my hearing is sharper. It’s like some cotton from one of my many childhood ear infections was left inside and when I gave birth it was spotted, taken out, and suddenly, …
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ears peeled
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not lost on me
October is national pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, and it’s not lost on me that this time last year, we’d just had our second failed IVF transfer and I screamed in a parking lot …
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dishwasher v. boy
I’ve always been in love with Time, or at least I’ve perceived it as Love, but it’s Control: I own it, and it does what I want. Each second is a something that can be …
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Life doesn’t frighten me
Behind my left ear lives a tiny imaginary reporter from the New York Times who’s doing a profile on me. WHAT, DO YOU NOT HAVE THAT? Each morning they ask: Say, Bekah, what do you …
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screaming awake
I’m still getting used to New Sleep, in which you never quite sleep, but are always listening for the sound of your baby crying, or moving, or thinking, or anything-ing. You float above sleep, but …
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A Blessing
I am VERY LUCKY that I have a husband that wants to and is able to be an equal participant in raising (ie: desperately, moment to moment, trying to understand and the keeping alive of) …
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A MAN.
Today, on feelings I did not anticipate: I have a crush on my son. Like before bed I lie awake looking at pictures of him, he gives me butterflies, I miss him when he’s in …
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EXCUSE ME, MY SURGERY HURTS
As the days pass, Morrison and I keep remembering surreal little bits of our hospital stay, like we ate mushrooms a few weeks ago and are now just recalling all that we saw and did. …
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tummy time, or: this, forever
Like a month ago when I was a different human, I swore to myself that once Joe was born, I would not let this space become solely about babies. I would strike a balance between …
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Dad Brain, Forever
ATTN ALL: THIS MAN IS AMAZING (the big one, tho please note, the smaller version has also been proving himself to be pretty great.) The hospital was a blur, there were green beans? We cried, …