I confess that at least once a month, if not weekly, I think about the 90’s movie, Junior, in which Arnold Schwarzenegger CARRIES A BABY TO TERM. When I think about it, I’m usually wondering, …
-
-
YES, IT HOLDS UP
-
Suffering Noisily
Yesterday, I had another surgery that’s hopefully getting us one step closer to having a tiny person running around our house demanding to know where Poop comes from. It was the longest I’d ever been …
-
Path to Healing
I can’t meditate for more than 3 minutes without getting distracted, and the few times I’ve done acupuncture I’ve just laid there watching the clock and wondering things like ‘Am I healing? Is it happening? …
-
WOE IS NOT YOU
I tend to have way too much empathy for people who perhaps don’t deserve it. In the secret parts of my head, I oftentimes empathize with bigots and murderers and terrorists and people who pee …
-
Why I’m Tired
I hate it when people are like, I’m so busy and tired, here’s why I’m so busy and tired, and yet, I feel compelled to document the absurdity that was January. And so I’ve gathered these facts, …
-
it Has to be Hard
At some point, early on in our relationship, Morrison and I were discussing something that I of course can’t recall. It went something like: Morrison: I’m loving how easy this element of our combined life and …
-
why to never drink water at a wedding
Note: Though the below might suggest otherwise, I AM staying hopeful and positive that I will someday ‘become a pregnant person,’ as my doctor calls it. I basically just can no longer keep the worry …
-
KIDNAPPERS.
DO NOT BE DECEIVED BY OUR KIND OFFERS TO WATCH YOUR KID WE WILL ACTUALLY NAP IT
-
HOW TO CRY ON COMMAND
Some people focus on an unrequited need or traumatic memory or the smell of something their grandmother used to make. ME? I JUST LOOK AT TINY YELLOW DRESSES MADE FOR BABIES. I don’t even need …
-
WATCH OUT, MORRISON
ALSO WATCH OUT, MY UTERUS ALSO MAYBE EVERYONE, IN GENERAL, SHOULD JUST WATCH OUT