Me, to my therapist: Sometimes I feel disconnected from Joe, after working all day. And sometimes he prefers Morrison because basically, Morrison is more fun. I mean, I prefer Morrison to myself. Therapist, to me: …
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Back Again
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Boo Cahhh
Us: Good morning, Joe! Joe: BOO CAHHHH. Us: How’d you sleep? Joe: Boo Cah. Us: Want some breakfast? Joe: BOO CAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Us: Should we go outside? Joe: Boo. Cah. Us: Wanna go on the swings? …
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fwip
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when to start Packing
If you’re traveling with your family, or if you aren’t a parent so your full heart travels with you everywhere, rolled up in your carry-on, the correct time to start packing to head home is …
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how to lose the baby weight
Have a baby Google how to lose baby weight Like, spend a lot of time reading about it eat so many hard boiled eggs Read long articles about leafy greens while eating actual Cake Give …
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do you date the muffin man
Joe, on All Future Dates: Joe: So like, what do you do for fun? Person: Oh, I like to travel, I like to read, I LOVE animals — Joe: Do you Bake? Person: Oh. Not …
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He Speaks
In my previous pre-Joe life I remember overhearing conversations between parents and their toddlers, in which the kid goes BAHHHHHHHHH! and the parent goes YES, YOU’RE RIGHT, IT’S A COMPUTER! GOOD JOB! And I would …
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An Excavator
I always thought becoming a Mother would teach me Patience, and how to be Present, and would clarify for me my own beliefs, reveal to me my greatest strengths and weaknesses, and yes to all …
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Not, but Is
Joe and I have had pretty nasty colds since Christmas. We have twin Mother / Son coughs which Morrison has aptly described as The Barking Buffalo. It’s allegedly not Covid, but also, I feel like …
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UPDATE
CHANCE OF SNOW HAS BEEN UPDATED TO A MILLION PERCENT I REPEAT THERE IS A MILLION PERCENT CHANCE THAT IT SNOWED LITERALLY BING, STOP WRITING SONGS ABOUT IT AND GO OUTSIDE, IT’S JUST LIKE THE …