Have a baby Google how to lose baby weight Like, spend a lot of time reading about it eat so many hard boiled eggs Read long articles about leafy greens while eating actual Cake Give …
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how to lose the baby weight
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Light Week
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How to get Dressed
Congrats! You have found 45 seconds this morning to get dressed before the toddler loses his shit over needing to go to the park, NOW. Here’s how to Get Dressed. reach for the nearest clothes …
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Pukesgiving
‘‘Twas the Night before Thanksgiving And all through John and Jacy’s apartment Not a creature was stirring Except for my exorcist puking into the guest bathroom toilet, an errant smoothie perhaps? And puke I kept …
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do butter
I shared this on Instagram already but this really bears repeating: yesterday I accidentally dropped and shattered this butter ornament in a gift shop. It’s not the nicest thing to do to a small business …
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HAVE BABY, WILL TRAVEL
Having a pandemic quarantine baby means you really, REALLY don’t go anywhere. I literally can’t even fathom taking him to a Store. It took us weeks to even take the dude for a walk. So …
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Peak 2020
This picture, of a commemorative F**K 2020 Christmas ornament that I mailed my Mother in Law, that broke into pieces in transit and fell from the envelope like the world’s saddest confetti, IS 2020. OPTIMISM; …
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I’m Hot
In my pockets of narrow sleep window between baby feeding sleeps, I have been having THE MOST AMAZINGLY WEIRD DREAMS, like last night I dreamt I was driving around in a giant cardboard box and …
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CHEESE OF CHEESES
I’ve had many fine cheeses in my day. String. Grocery store. France. Off off broadway opening night party that came from someone’s backpack. But this weekend, thanks to our local cheese store, I met THE …
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Quiet Area
To the woman sitting at the table next to me SHOUTING AT AN AIRLINE ON HER PHONE, please note the carefully placed decorative wood blocks that remind us (you) that one comes to Ojai for …