Having a pandemic quarantine baby means you really, REALLY don’t go anywhere. I literally can’t even fathom taking him to a Store. It took us weeks to even take the dude for a walk. So …
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HAVE BABY, WILL TRAVEL
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Peak 2020
This picture, of a commemorative F**K 2020 Christmas ornament that I mailed my Mother in Law, that broke into pieces in transit and fell from the envelope like the world’s saddest confetti, IS 2020. OPTIMISM; …
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I’m Hot
In my pockets of narrow sleep window between baby feeding sleeps, I have been having THE MOST AMAZINGLY WEIRD DREAMS, like last night I dreamt I was driving around in a giant cardboard box and …
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CHEESE OF CHEESES
I’ve had many fine cheeses in my day. String. Grocery store. France. Off off broadway opening night party that came from someone’s backpack. But this weekend, thanks to our local cheese store, I met THE …
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Quiet Area
To the woman sitting at the table next to me SHOUTING AT AN AIRLINE ON HER PHONE, please note the carefully placed decorative wood blocks that remind us (you) that one comes to Ojai for …
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Even the Cows
Beaver County, Oklahoma. The owner of a beautiful cattle ranch drives me around, showing me the ropes, literally ropes and prairie dogs and fences and SO MANY BEAUTIFUL COWS. We come upon the first part …
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COMEDY, EVERYWHERE
Nothing is without humor. Nothing ever. You can always find it. People say the wrong things at funerals, joke about their cancer. Infertility can be, and should, hilarious. While you wait for your doctor, look …
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FAME
I’M GONNA LIVE FOREVERRRRRR UNDER THAT NAME
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Crossed wires
I submit the following as evidence of the fact that there is too much in my brain right now: Last night, as we’re walking past a pond full of loud and expressive frogs: Me: isn’t …
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SO MANY QUESTIONS
Why the hat? Does it come with the book? Do you have to be a Petite Asian woman to use it? How does it arrive? WHY IS IT ON SALE SHOULD I ADD IT TO …