I thank the apron. It was a success, as they say in France, and in 3054 Panther Ridge Lane Lewisville NC 27023. (Stalkers, desist.) It was a success, despite the fact that I threw …
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thanks: a thorough report
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knick knacks
When we are Grown and have a Home, we may choose to fill said home with ‘knick knacks.’ These grow to be porcelian (or pewter) suggestions of our belief system, values, whims; reincarnations of once …
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timmy
A racist dream of the prophet kind. When I was small, and you were small, I dreamt one night that we lived back in ‘olden times.’ To me, this meant general stores with big butter …
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winter ear hats
I have MY this year’s winter hat, which will be worn beyond reason, to the point of ridiculous. It’s bright (bright) blue, and makes well-dressed women stare, and old man say things like ‘nice hat.’ …
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Lars and the Real Girl
I saw this last night. So should you. It is touching and funny and makes you slink into your seat and say stuff like ‘Gah‘ and ‘No he didn’t‘ and mean them. It’s about a …
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put it in your mouth
Gooey breakfast sandwiches, homemade peanut butter sandwiches, garlicky green beans, Baby Back Ribs, warm yellow rice piles, roasted chicken things, dirty south cole slaw, butter biscuits smother in chocolate; very frozen Long island Iced Tea …
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L’elevator
A memory. Having riden so many gd elevators as of late, all over the greater manhattan area, I am pleasantly and awkwardly reminded of that one time I got stuck in an one with my …
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date rape – for kids!
I hope you’ve seen this. A children’s toy, ‘Aqua Dots,’ is being recalled, because if ingested, the product causes affects on children similar to those of, well, le date rape. It as if they toy …
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comin soon
My fat camp diatribe. Can’t stinking wait. ‘They fry like eggs – like fat kids omlettes.’
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thanksgiving
And then also: A note: I love Thanksgiving. It is good and gratuitous and important and smells like warm. Love, love, love. So many times do I love this holiday. So much, that on …