Yesterday, it being sunny and a startling 57 degrees, I embraced the bug that is the spring cleaning.  Extremely gratifying, this task seems daunting but is ultimately fulfilling. Allow yourself at least 3 hours to trudge through all the embarassing goodwill clothes you have stuffed under your bed, vomiting out of your closet, breaking the doors. If you cannot decide whether to get rid of something, Wear it Around for a Minute. Do you feel like yourself, or a douchebag? Have your opinions of polka dots changed?

As you get older, quit clinging to things that make you look 16. Keep a couple of weird things, though, to remind yourself who you once where. Wear said things when you’re bored with yourself.

Finally, with the aide of a cute boy and his man tools, be a Grown Up and put Shelves on your Walls. (Be a lady; make him a flank steak in return.)

What joy! I’m not kidding. I’ve spent the morning shelving things that have been rotting in cat hair on the floor for circa a year. Now my prized books sit firmly, pretentiously, above my desk. Next step: thorough obsessive alphabetization.