One of my favorite things about Morrison’s family (specifically my Mother-in-Law) is that they put bows, like actual RIBBON BOWS, on presents. At Christmas time, every present is wrapped and tied up with a piece …
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take a bow
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Back to school
There I was at the drugstore, purchasing supplies for Morrison’s upcoming colonoscopy, feeling thoroughly 41, when I saw her: a 3 subject, college ruled Five Star notebook, waiting for me on an endcap. In high …
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a watch
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New Sunglasses
Meet my new sunglasses, purchased on vacation after the Toddler Crushed my other pair with his giant bones. At Merely the cost of two entrees and two drinks, they make me look like I have …
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how old am I
Old Enough to have a son Young enough to rock an anklet with my son’s name on it OLD ENOUGH TO NOT BE ABLE TO BEND DOWN TO PUT SAID ANKLET
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Earthquake Glasses
If you live in LA, don’t have perfect vision, and don’t want to pay someone 5K to slice into your eyeballs, you actually need THREE pairs of glasses: one to wear when you take your …
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Boo Cahhh
Us: Good morning, Joe! Joe: BOO CAHHHH. Us: How’d you sleep? Joe: Boo Cah. Us: Want some breakfast? Joe: BOO CAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Us: Should we go outside? Joe: Boo. Cah. Us: Wanna go on the swings? …
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DELI-LAHHHHHHH
My favorite of my many favorite parts of the Olney’s production of A.D. 16 (CURRENTLY IN PREVIEWS! RUNS THROUGH MARCH 6! GET THEE TO MARYLAND!) is its gorgeous, massive rotating stage that boasts not ONE, …
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do butter
I shared this on Instagram already but this really bears repeating: yesterday I accidentally dropped and shattered this butter ornament in a gift shop. It’s not the nicest thing to do to a small business …
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Why to write for Kids