October is national pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, and it’s not lost on me that this time last year, we’d just had our second failed IVF transfer and I screamed in a parking lot …
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not lost on me
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Life doesn’t frighten me
Behind my left ear lives a tiny imaginary reporter from the New York Times who’s doing a profile on me. WHAT, DO YOU NOT HAVE THAT? Each morning they ask: Say, Bekah, what do you …
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screaming awake
I’m still getting used to New Sleep, in which you never quite sleep, but are always listening for the sound of your baby crying, or moving, or thinking, or anything-ing. You float above sleep, but …
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A Blessing
I am VERY LUCKY that I have a husband that wants to and is able to be an equal participant in raising (ie: desperately, moment to moment, trying to understand and the keeping alive of) …
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A MAN.
Today, on feelings I did not anticipate: I have a crush on my son. Like before bed I lie awake looking at pictures of him, he gives me butterflies, I miss him when he’s in …
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tummy time, or: this, forever
Like a month ago when I was a different human, I swore to myself that once Joe was born, I would not let this space become solely about babies. I would strike a balance between …
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before, after
Morrison just showed me this picture he took of the moment I got to meet Joe. It was really only ten hours or so from when they ceremoniously yanked him out of me to when …
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why I’m crying
Apparently (definitely) after you give birth, all of the estrogen and progesterone that have been making you crazy throughout pregnancy, making you sob over tiny eggplants at the grocery store, these hormones abruptly PLUMMET, but …
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The Secret: Dare to Stream
Last Friday night, quietly, secretly, pandemically, my first ever movie — an adaptation of the self-help book The Secret — started streaming on itunes and Amazon Prime. Many movies that were scheduled for theatrical releases …
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Pandemic Babymoon
We decided to take a risk and VERY CAREFULLY, DISTANCE-LY, MASKED AND DRIPPING WITH HAND SANITIZER, stay a few nights at a newly re-opened low-capacity beach hotel (and other things I will remind myself when …