This picture, of a commemorative F**K 2020 Christmas ornament that I mailed my Mother in Law, that broke into pieces in transit and fell from the envelope like the world’s saddest confetti, IS 2020. OPTIMISM; …
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Peak 2020
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(don’t) sleep
What is the word for when all you want is your kid to go to sleep because you need ten minutes to pee and try and get the spit-up stain off the couch, and when …
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I’m Hot
In my pockets of narrow sleep window between baby feeding sleeps, I have been having THE MOST AMAZINGLY WEIRD DREAMS, like last night I dreamt I was driving around in a giant cardboard box and …
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THE SNOO
Long ago, women squatted in fields and pushed out their babies, cut their own umbilical cords with rocks, shushed and soothed their own babies in the middle of the night through storms or I guess …
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BUTT TRUTH
I just caught a glimpse of the actual size of my butt in a mirror, like an actual mirror, not a mirror in which I control my image of myself, and it cast great doubt …
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BINGO!
I have to do something other than scroll, grow human, grow fat. And LORD how I love a list of tasks to check off. Here’s an effective tool for ways to educate and act. Last …
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Life.
Pro tip: while attempting to create life, spend any leftover emotional space and money on plants, as they are Life, but not People. Marvel at their designs. Obsess over their watering instructions. IF ANYTHING HAPPENS …
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CHEESE OF CHEESES
I’ve had many fine cheeses in my day. String. Grocery store. France. Off off broadway opening night party that came from someone’s backpack. But this weekend, thanks to our local cheese store, I met THE …
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Excavation
Sometimes when I’m buckled into the belly of a metal beast shaking violently at thirty six thousand feet above Kansas, I like to dig through my computer and find old things I wrote and try …
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Quiet Area
To the woman sitting at the table next to me SHOUTING AT AN AIRLINE ON HER PHONE, please note the carefully placed decorative wood blocks that remind us (you) that one comes to Ojai for …