I felt like a very, VERY good person and planet steward when I ordered myself a bunch of reusable straws, but then I realized that I Amazon Primed them, which basically cancels out any goodness? I pretty much just took a private jet to rescue a single sea turtle. Maybe if I’d Amazon Smiled them, the karmic balance sheet would be complete. Where is Amazon Good Person? When you prime yourself a tower of landfill diapers, it comes to your house and gives you a long, earnest hug and tells you it’s okay because you’re just doing your best, and also plants a tree and donates to a charity of your choice, in your honor.