MARKETING BOSS: Why do women put on lip gloss? A few moments of long, deep thought. MARKETING PERSON:….So that their lips will be softer? MARKETING BOSS: NO! MARKETING PERSON: I’m — I’m sorry — MARKETING …
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INT. LIP BALM MARKETING OFFICE
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LET IT TELL YOU
ATTN: PEOPLE WITH BOOBS. Today, on we Live in the Future: instagram will now tell you when you need a new bra and where to get it. It will also tell you which overnight bags …
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what food once was
I’ve been abandoning all extra-curricular creative responsibilities the last few days, and spending every waking non-work moment reading this dear lady’s book: It’s part memoir, part cookbook, which is my new favorite kind of book. …
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tough job / someone must do it
Sheila: Hey, can I give you a few jobs for the Kilroys fundraiser? Me: Sure thing, how can I help? Sheila: Well first can you find somewhere that makes tiny cupcakes and — Me: YES …
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OH, CRAWFISH TREE, OH CRAWFISH TREEEEEEE
I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU HAPPENNEEEDDDDDDDD
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ENDLESS
It’s the timmeeee of yearrrrr When the world Falls in love And I sit on the couch watching Hallmark Christmas movies that are bountiful and limitless and appear to be made for approximately nine dollars …
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LOOK HERE INSTEAD
Is it just me, or does Christmas this year feel like some elaborate ploy to distract us from a nightmare? Doesn’t it feel like goggles strapped to our heads, headphones shoved over our ears to …
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NOT SAFE PLACE
An already irate group of theater people got to get EVEN MORE IRATER Friday night when Pence attended Hamilton. He was briefly booed by the audience, but was then given a kind and gracious message …
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Breadstraction
I am choosing to spend today’s lunch break looking at pictures of bread pudding so that I might find the perfect one to make for Thanksgiving instead of going deeper into the horror of the …
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dreamsick
Q.) Does anyone actually care about / want to hear long re-tellings of anyone else’s dreams? A.) YES, YOU, ABOUT MINE. The other night, while safely tucked into a microwave sized hotel room in Manhattan, …