Is it just me, or does Christmas this year feel like some elaborate ploy to distract us from a nightmare? Doesn’t it feel like goggles strapped to our heads, headphones shoved over our ears to drown out the sounds of drilling? Isn’t it like red and green gas seeping under the door to make us so lightheaded our feet hang just above the lava? BUT ALSO LOOK AT MY CHRISTMAS RECORDS NOW I GET TO LISTEN TO ALL OF THEM ALL MONTH OMG