Before we ever met, there was something happening in your back situation that was Not Good. Not Good things were done to you, as you slept, to fix the Not Good thing. The room went …
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manback surgery
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Senatorial Etiquette
Dear the Senator Larry Craig of Idaho, Thank you for looking like this: I would reccomend that you NOT try and seduce the sexy manperson in the airport bathroom who is secretly a cop. I …
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Mars
Fans, have you been feeling a little willy-nilly as of late? Has life been a bit haphazard/impetutuous/utterly BLAH/confusing? Lost your sense of drive, even? Do you find yourself late at night, unsleepable, gnawing on your …
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is my ‘homeboy’
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Romance
Some Thoughts on; by Bekah. Anything; Anything. Point being, ladies and gentlemen, there is no set way to woo. There is no formula, though the dry champagne and fresh snickerdoodles and the Bubble Bath are …
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je sick
Today, I am sick, which happens quite rarely and is pretty pathetic and looks like this: Now, I hate the sick with a passion, because I am very much a go-doer and the HATE not …
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chubby pinky
Today, mid-spinning class, my pinky all of the sudden became all a-chub. What the H? Just swelled all up like a sweet lil flesh balloon. Now it’s all itchy and hurty and chubby and I …
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Child-Rearing at its Best
Dear Motherhood, I’m stoked. I think I have pre-maturely figured you out via through sitting on of Babies. And by Babies, I mean one really stellar near-eight year old girl in particular. Her name is …
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jewelry
Jewelry They wandering together through the outdoor flea market, stopping to touch things periodically. The dragon statues slept on weed-wackers and the action figures melted into each other. The unicorn tablecloths shared holes with that …
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a fat pussy
Ladies and Gentlemen, the baby kitty. If you pussy is chubby, limit the time he spends sleeping on copies of your Written Word.