The absolute VERY WORST part of Joe’s recent case of hand foot and mouth is in fact NOT that his fingers and toes are now peeling off like snake skin, but that he learned to …
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it hurts
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I am a good person (?)
I felt like a very, VERY good person and planet steward when I ordered myself a bunch of reusable straws, but then I realized that I Amazon Primed them, which basically cancels out any goodness? …
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Clingy
I don’t know whether to celebrate or lament this, so here’s just a cold, hard fact: Every other mother: Bedtime is so hard, they won’t go to sleep unless I cuddle and sing to them, …
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Happy anniversary
I think the longer you’ve been married, the further your anniversary day gets from anything moderately celebratory. A scene from this morning: Husband: Did you feed the cat? Wife: No, I’m getting Joe his waffle …
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hand and foot and mouth and heart
Joe caught hand foot and mouth at day care, and his PERFECT PRECIOUS little hands and feet and face are covered in painful red blisters and bumps and I look at him trying to pull …
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Pregnancy Test
If you’re wondering if you’re pregnant, but aren’t close to a Walgreens / don’t have 18.99 to spare, one thing you can do is just think about Circus Peanuts, the weirdly banana flavored peanut shaped …
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a dream
Is there anything more life goal-y than baking with your daughter? BAKING WITH YOUR SON. My mom sent me these amazing matching aprons for impending daughter, but I just couldn’t wait, because what if I …
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a privilege
Some nights I can’t sleep because I ate too much cheese before bed and sometimes it’s because I just lay there crushed by the weight of my own privilege, and what I’m doing with it …
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the toddler equation
I remember reading this before we had Joe and it is now abundantly true: Toddlers are VERY VERY ABSURDLY CUTE and this cuteness is EXACTLY EQUIVALENT to how VERY VERY ANNOYING they are. Joe’s brain, …
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I Care
I have never even pretended like I’m the kind of person who does not care about or read reviews of their work. Years ago I had a residency at the O’Neill theater conference, where a …