Morrison wakes up slowly in the morning, and over time, like a regular person. I tend to wake up mid-sentence, already doing and worrying about things. This morning as I spiraled to him about something, …
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Torn
I want to delete my Facebook account, as it’s a time suck / complain-y place / Russian Robot, but if I delete it, WHERE WILL I KEEP ALL OF MY PICTURES FROM SEVEN YEARS AGO? …
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DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK IT’S WEIRD
That we don’t have the Iowa Caucus results because an app crashed? That it’s kind of unsettling that results are being counted by an app? Does anyone else imagine or at least WANT it to …
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SPORTS SHIRT
In honor of Annual of Very High Stakes Bean Dip Sportsball Day, I present to you this Obvious Plant Sportsshirt I got Tim for Christmas: I LITERALLY HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM THIS HAPPY EXCEPT FOR …
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Birth / Death
On Tuesday, my cousin Matt Pendergrass suddenly passed away at the age of 42. Here he is doing what he did best (read: Beach Smiling): And today, my Grandpa Joe turns 92. Here he is, …
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how know you’re 97
After a much needed 5:30 PM post-work power nap, you take a moment, actually a long SERIES of moments, to gaze lovingly at your new teapot that you ordered to match the pepper shaker that …
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REASON 9 MILL TO NEVER GET IN A HELICOPTER
AS IF I EVEN NEEDED ANOTHER ONE So very very sad. RIP.
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MAID!
I am V V STOKED to join the writer’s room for this new Netflix show, based on the beautiful memoir, MAID, about a single Mom who kept herself and her daughter alive by cleaning houses …
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Acceber Rettetsnurb
Every now and then, like a regular amount of times, like only 3-4 times a day, I think about what my full legal name sounds like spelled backwards, which is a thing I figured out …
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WORLD IS ENDING
I am now receiving Ads on facebook for a HIP CUTE HOME SPERM INJECTOR, with a cute name and cute branding pics like it’s a home meal service or fun socks or a way to …