What is the word for when all you want is your kid to go to sleep because you need ten minutes to pee and try and get the spit-up stain off the couch, and when …
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HEY, LOOK OVER HERE
HEY LOOK AT THESE LIME TORTILLA CHIPS I MADE FROM SCRATCH! It’s Election Day, but instead of ruminating on that: I read somewhere the other day, Somewhere? The where is now lost in the Soup …
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Gnome Sweet Gnome
I’ve never been too big on Halloween, but I’m not gonna sleep on an opportunity to put a baby in a costume. So for Joe’s first Halloween, we tapped into his whimsical, discerning nature and …
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I’m Hot
In my pockets of narrow sleep window between baby feeding sleeps, I have been having THE MOST AMAZINGLY WEIRD DREAMS, like last night I dreamt I was driving around in a giant cardboard box and …
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VOTER FRAUD
IT’S REAL. FINALLY, SOME PROOF. It’s not the people voting twice we have to worry about, nor the Zombies, it is the BABIES. They’re crawling to the booths in vast numbers, demanding more bright and …
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Bedtime Routine
All of the blogs and books recommend that you establish a bedtime routine for your kid, that soothes them, winds them down, and lets them know that sleep is coming. Given that we are highly …
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Casseroll
Since Joe, the only TV I want to watch are reality baking show competitions in which no one gets murdered and there are no dark philosophical questions posed, and all I want to make / …
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10.22.16
What else can I say about that day that hasn’t already been said? I’ll love this day forever…… Long past when we’re dead.
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BOOP
Me, when child was theoretical: I’m not going to infantilize my baby, I’m going to speak to him like an adult. I’ll read Shakespeare and Murakami aloud and we’ll listen to classical music and his …
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IF THIS VERY TINY SHOE FITS
The internet doesn’t need any more obvious content about how small and adorable and irresistible baby clothes are, or how they are 90% unnecessary, or a transcript of my inner thoughts yesterday as I found …