Joe, in 15 or so years: Mom? What is this weird spot on my chest? Me: Where? Joe: right here, over my heart? It’s this weird like, indented spot. Is it like my birthmark, or …
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the worry spot
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the Baby Gym
There are things called baby gyms that you put your baby underneath to stimulate their brains, and if you DON’T then your baby will grow up to be a murderer or at least have little …
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how to walk
My greatest fears used to be very bad reviews, plummeting to my death in a plane crash, or hurting the feelings of someone I love, but now at the very top of the list is …
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why I’m crying
Apparently (definitely) after you give birth, all of the estrogen and progesterone that have been making you crazy throughout pregnancy, making you sob over tiny eggplants at the grocery store, these hormones abruptly PLUMMET, but …
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Mother in Training
Baby is not moving: Me: WHAT’S WRONG, ARE YOU OKAY? Baby is moving A LOT: Me: WHAT’S WRONG, ARE YOU OKAY? Baby is moving a regular amount: Me: SOMETHING MUST REALLY BE WRONG, ARE YOU …
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Crying Practice
Over the last few weeks and months I have ingested many apps and blogs and articles and message boards, led to each after Googling something like ‘IS BABY OKAY?’ or ‘NORMAL TO FEEL LIKE BABY …
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Screaming
Maybe she’s born with it, maybe she’s in her Third Trimester but I have zero energy to spend on shaming people who aren’t wearing masks or screaming at them inside of my head to change …
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WINGS FOR EVERYONE!
Some elementary school students in China are wearing these gorgeous wings to remind them to keep their distance from each other while at school and I CAN’T, I JUST CAN’T, (BUT I CAN.) “The preventive …
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COMMUNITY FRIDGES, OKAY?
2020 is a dumpster fire of disease, social unrest and political tomfoolery BUT IT’S NOT ALL BAD, and I will continue to find and celebrate what is not in a trash can, engulfed in flames. …
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KATHY
KAREN HAS A COUSIN. Her name is Kathy, and she works as a pre-natal ultrasound technician at my hospital, and she is CHATTY AS THE DAYS ARE ENDLESS AND NO LONGER MARKED BY EVENTS. Take …