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HAPPY DAY OF AMERICAN CRUELTY DAY
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what you need to hear
Me: Look at my eyelid. It’s wrinkly and weird. Morrison: Okay? Me: NO REALLY, LOOK AT MY EYELID. (I shove my eyelid in his face, marriage style.) Morrison: Huh. Yeah! Me: I have an old …
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Pie tops!
Today on what is right with America, Pizza Hut has released a pair of shoes called pie tops. They sync to your phone, you know, like shoes do, and when you press the tongue of …
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Things I know to be True
Truth is very elusive these days. I sense more and more that it is not, in fact, found on the internet, but instead inside of oneself. I need to begin a daily deep dive through …
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the good bits
Surely these are dark times, but we must focus on the GOOD things that have happened in politics during this country’s short life: Lincoln abolished slavery! Roosevelt saved the country from a depression whilst in …
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NOT SAFE PLACE
An already irate group of theater people got to get EVEN MORE IRATER Friday night when Pence attended Hamilton. He was briefly booed by the audience, but was then given a kind and gracious message …
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FAKE FALL
TEMPERATURES IN LA HAVE SOARED BELOW 75 TO 68 THE SKY IS SLIGHTLY LESS THAN PERFECTLY JUST SUNNY THERE IS ONE CLOUD IT RAINED FOR TWENTY SEVEN SECONDS TIME TO PRETEND IT’S FALL AND WRAP …
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IT’S NOT REAL
After trying numerous (albeit drug store) brands of lipstick / stain, I am convinced that there is no such thing as a lipstick that does NOT make you look like you literally ate a bunch …
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HOT (GROSS)
LOOK AT MY BODY IT’S GOT CURVES AND NOT CURVES IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES ALSO IT’S GOT MY INTESTINES INSIDE OF IT
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on if we deserve to even Be
Sometimes it’s like, oh noooooooo, is the earth going to fry up like an omelette, sizzle and implode, or is the moon going to suddenly shift and move and tsunami us all into floating underworld …
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