I would like to announce that after years of putting jokes about wearing blazers into nearly everything I’ve ever written, I have to go and speak and a fancy theater thing tonight and so I …
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HOLD THE PHONE.
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PUNZ FOR DAYZ
Am I pun magnet? Do I just mosey my way through life, happening upon the earth’s greatest puns? YES. YES I DO. South Coast Rep’s lit department bringin the term Theater Nerds to a WHOLE. …
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STD’s
When planning a wedding, it is best to undercut the whimsy and love and charm with GROSS AND INAPPROPRIATE HUMOR. And so, family and friends: Morrison and I are giving each and every one of …
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CRUELTY
TO THE GIRL SCOUT SELLING COOKIES OUTSIDE MY GYM: DON’T YOU SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING?! HOW. DARE. YOU. ALSO THANKS FOR THE TAGALONGS.
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My Place.
Dear Angels: I started rehearsals this week for my Heaven Playyyyyy! It is my first production in quite some time that features more than just someone’s futon and a limited light grid (though, don’t get …
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JE SUIS KARDASHIAN
Today, on the perks of growed up life: I LOVE HOTEL GYMS. They make me feel like an heiress to the Skittle Dynasty who must spend three hours a day on her personal elliptical machine, …
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SHOTZ SHOTZ (MOZZARELLA) SHOTZ
Somebody try and stop me from making these genius shot glasses made of fried mozzarella and stuffed full of marina sauce. NO SERIOUSLY PLEASE. SOMEONE TRY AND STOP ME.
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HOTLINE BLING.
I like to discover things just a few days after everyone else in America has already obsessed over the thing and are over the thing. Then I sweep in, and I’m like, HEY, THIS THING! …
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He Does / I Write
Tiny giant Marine officer man baby brother Tim sent us some pictures today of his morning commute. He’s currently on a massive ship, en route to Norway, with a bunch of amphibious sea to land …
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Brides be All:
Considering that it’s meant to be a dress for one of the most beautiful and important days in a woman’s life, it’s hilarious to me how angry and vacant and hungry and sullen brides often …