Considering that it’s meant to be a dress for one of the most beautiful and important days in a woman’s life, it’s hilarious to me how angry and vacant and hungry and sullen brides often look in ads for dresses in the wedding magazines. Some favorites:

I mean I think I want to get married but mostly, it’s like, what is life? It is darkness and hours and it is tears. What is love but death?

I do, I think, but also — I’m stuck to this wall.

Of course I’ll marry you but can my friend come? THAT’S COOL RIGHT? WE LIKE CRAFT STORES.

I’d love to marry you, but I’m a child. An angry, angry child.

I love tree. What? What are words? I’m having a stroke.

No, see, I do really want to marry you, but I’m dead inside.

No wait, correction, I mean I AM ACTUALLY DEAD.