Good Jeans

While these Jeans appear to just be Jeans, they are in fact Resolve, they are my going with the flow and accepting the things I cannot change. They are also the first Jean, or Pant? I’ve zipped in…two years? After I had Joe, I had this thought slash plan: we want another baby, so I’ll just stay in my potato clothes and not bother procuring new jeans until after the second. I thought, the second will be easy. I will say to whoever asks, we struggled for so long to have Joe, and then the second just happened! We were barely even trying! I thought, that will be our Story, as there always must be a Story. But expectations are the root of all heartache, said Shakespeare, or maybe Jesus. And here we are, on another twisty-turny journey, another Marathon, not a Sprint, the finish line constantly disappearing from the horizon like a mirage. So yesterday, REALLY feeling myself as I’ve dropped 5 pounds after food poisoning, thank you Bacteria, I went out and got myself a pair of Jeans, damnit. Two sizes bigger than I used to wear, but a perfect fit (THANK YOU MADEWELL, literally MADE WELL.) I feel hugged by own presence, embraced by a Letting Go. Tucked tight (but not too tight) into a sort of Peace. It will happen, not like I expect it, never like I expect it. Or it won’t. But, it will.

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