On Toilet Paper

Okay, day by day, this virus situation is getting scarier and more surreal. (Tho I still insist, and remind myself, that’s what’s most scary are the consequences of the fear based reactions, and the scope of the regulations and cancellations, while necessary, just feel very apocalyptic and like we’re constantly living in the first act of a disaster movie when we’re laughing and eating chips and making jokes when out the window behind us, the tsunami approaches.) So it is scary in its own way, and very much real, but still: Morrison keeps his calm for both of us, and SHOULD LEAD DISASTER WORKSHOPS.

Re: toilet paper:

Me: Can you grab more toilet paper from the store?

Him: We have a bunch.

Me: Yeah, but people are buying it and it’s selling out.

Him: Why?

Me: Unclear.

Him: You don’t need toilet paper. You just shower after you poop.

Me: Huh. True!

Him: Or I order us a bidet from Amazon, install it on the toilet, and we just wash our butts with water. There are a lot of options.

Please note that were there to be a giant earthquake and we lost Water, he ALSO knows the best and safest way to poop in your own yard. Point being: I love him, and he is more valuable to me than ANY VACCINE.

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