Today, on If my Dreams were any more On the Nose They would BE A NOSE: I dreamt I had made a big pan of perfect bacon, I had a lot of it and it …
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Bacon
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break fast
I’ve been intermittent fasting and pretty much off dairy / gluten / carbs for NEARLY FIVE MONTHS NOW, and it’s sort of become the new normal. I basically don’t eat between 6:30PM and 10:30AM, and …
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there’s an app for that
Joe will say he wants chicken nuggets, or a pear, or a piece of cake, or an entire bagel but with different kinds of nut butter on each side, sliced into triangles, or strawberries with …
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gummy bears
Joe is almost 3. When he pees in the toilet, he gets to pick out one gummy bear. If he poops in the toilet (which is never?) he gets 2. Good job. Joe is 12 …
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Everything Salad
Putting everything seasoning on a salad is kind of like having a Bagel, just like sticking your foot in a mixing bowl of water is like swimming in the ocean and Remembering chocolate is like …
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Frosting
I dreamt I was being frosted into the middle of a German Chocolate Cake, my body was a series of coconut flakes in a wave pool, and the long flat knife was the wave. I …
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Hours Devoures
Stay grounded, the writer was told by her father, if you find success in your career, don’t let it go to your head. Stay humble and kind, said all of the country songs, the ones …
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Food diary
Coffee Water Prenatal vitamins Cold scrambled eggs eaten out of the pan Peanut butter banana smoothie Four handfuls of sour cream and cheddar chips, eaten out of the bag Unshelled pistachios, consumed while driving Entire …
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21st century woman
Me to Morrison, after working to provide for our family while also growing another member of it but also I made a Chicken Enchilada Casserole for dinner, a big one that might feed us all …
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my legacy
Today, on creating (forcing?) my legacy, going forward, I will be known for making this INCREDIBLE BISCUIT STUFFING every Thanksgiving. I will also be the medium old or regular old lady who insists on drinking …