When I was younger I remembered everything and noticed everything. My brain was 73% less full because I was 73% less aware of the world, 73% less full of Worry. With so much free hardware, …
-
-
Dear Time: Stop
-
-
продвигающийся
I’ve miraculously made it 30 years without any ironic or genuine tattoos anywhere on my person. No dragons or the warped faces of family members or zodiac signs. But still, sometimes, I kind of want …
-
Okay, this amuses me a tiny bit.
-
Better to have Lost?
Last night while driving home, and this morning while driving in, I listened to two different but remarkably complementary This American Lifes – Lives? – Lifes. In one, a teenage girl’s mother, in her …
-
PROOF.
If there were ever any doubt that I am an incredible athlete with near olympic like capabilities, here are just a few of my childhood trophies to prove my prowess. I mean, one of them …
-
Eye’m not sure.
The other day, this dude gave me his business card and an elevator pitch. For 30 bucks, he’ll take a picture of your eyeball. He’ll even frame it for you. He even does whole family’s …
-
Etiquette
I got a haircut. This is my haircut. No it is NOT necessary for me to announce to you each time this happens, but I bring it up to beg the question: when your hair …
-
Decorum
Some might argue that the world is advancing, what, with our smart phones and hybrid cars and 100 calorie packs of goldfish and coconut M&Ms. One could also argue that things are simultaneously declining, in …
-
The Wrong Kind?
Last night on the much delayed (due to massively terrifying thunderstorms) flight from Chicago to Boston, I sat next to this oldish lady and her grandson. I was instantly soothed because I could tell they …