If you have to take your toddler with you into a public bathroom, and don’t want them touching the toilet which they will definitely want to, hand them your phone while you pee. They will be so busy learning the language of their future, ie swiping, through your pictures and messages, that they won’t even think to lick the bathroom floor. They might even take a few pictures themselves. Cheese!!!! Joe says to my crotch, remarkably not licking the bathroom floor. CHEESE MAMA!!!!!!!! He shouts while I pee, setting the vacation away message on my email, starting a timer for 3 minutes and adding songs to his playlist on Spotify. CHEEEEEESSEEEEEAHHHHH!