five marshmallows

I spent way too much of my childless life NOT going to museums and learning new things, but now with him, I get to go to museums, and Learn. When he wakes up, he wants five small marshmallows, not six or three. He wants to open the jar himself, count them out, and eat them one by one, with ceremony. When I tell him my back hurts so I can’t bring the ambulance to the emergency, he looks at me concerned and says Can I bring you a hug? But then sometimes he’s so angry he shakes, sometimes he screams MOM DON’T SING!!! and I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!! But then two seconds later, he’s in love with something he just discovered. Moments with him sometimes feel like things that must be survived, but then sometimes they have little doors to them, and I step inside, and it’s wonderful, our little world. I close the door behind us, so we can Stay.

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