One of the MANY MANY THINGS they don’t tell you about what happens after you give birth, other than the fact that you won’t poop for ten years and this will cause some stress, is that your hormones CRASH HARD, and at least for me I feel like I’m floating, sailing through the waters of my own intestines, I feel ACTUALLY HIGH. And every feeling weighs massively on my heart. And this second time around, now that my heart also contains Joe, this crash is bigger and harder. I think I did this list after I had Joe too, so here’s another, a short list of select reasons I’ve cried in the past 5 days:

Because I feel like I’m doing it wrong

Because of Joe’s nose

Because I threw away the old pad Thai I didn’t know Morrison wanted to eat

Because Yesterday

Because I put her pinkie finger next to mine

Because of belly buttons

Because I’m my mother’s daughter, and now I have a daughter, and she might one day have a daughter

Because plans, and control, or lackthereof

Because nipples

Because Him, and Her, and that there’s now two, and there used to be One

Because how we used to do the bath after dinner, and I would get the towel or Morrison would get the towel, and it all made an easy sense, there was always one person to love him and one person to heat up more chicken nuggets

Because pain

Because Red Trucks

Because Cadbury Eggs