a girl

Consider this the formal press release, can someone tell Deadline, Us Weekly, all of my cousins? I am once again WITH CHILD! After some twists and turns, and after declaring to the universe that I really wanted to be done having kids by the time I was 40, we got pregnant the month I turned it. You’re funny, God. I found out basically right before I started Notebook rehearsal, so I spent many weeks falling asleep in my script, sobbing in my weird corporate bed, puking in many toilets, and shoving ritz crackers into my face. There were moments when I didn’t know if I was going to make it? Which is hilarious in retrospect, because women always, or usually, make it. It’s just that the first trimester is a particular sort of hell, a sickness mixed with worry. It’s possible that I felt worse this time because this child is a GIRL. We are elated, not just because who doesn’t want one of each? But also because when we first started this whole journey, we longed for a girl. Of course you want either, you want a healthy happy kid, but you’ve got something in your mind’s eye. When I had my second miscarriage my doctor sort of accidentally revealed to me that she was a girl. When we did IVF, we started with our girl embryos, the first who didn’t even survive the thaw, the other three ended in chemical pregnancies, then nothing. And then came Joe and he was exactly right and exactly who and what our family needed. And then I spent the last 1.5 years trying to control it, abiding by the Chinese Gender predictor calendar which tells you the gender of your kid based on the month and your age when you conceive, which is also hilarious in retrospect, to no avail. And then along she came, inevitable, like a fact, a quiet dream come true, a reminder that you cannot control things. You cannot. Is there any greater lesson our kids teach us? You can’t control, you can’t plan, but you can….prepare? You can be grateful. You can bring snacks. Thank you God for this little lady person, joining us next year. We will be ready, ish.

Leave a Reply