It’s said that as a woman you can’t have it all but that you should basically die trying. You should aspire to be the most loving, present mother and also the most excellent in your field. But I truly don’t think you CAN have both, you can’t fully thrive in both, one is always slightly sagging behind. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a LOT. Can’t that be enough? You can have occasional career successes and occasional moments of extreme joy in Mothering, you can crush it intermittently. The good news no one is keeping score except yourself. Just always have snacks handy, and return emails sometimes. Show up and try, be nice to yourself, she shouted at herself for the next 40 years.