do you understand

Recently I was in a Zoom rehearsal, which I am slightly over? Can I be over it and grateful for it at the same time? YES. An actor misinterpreted my intention behind a new line I was trying, and suddenly I wanted to both SCREAM AND CRY. It was ultimately nothing, a non-moment, I clarified what I meant and everyone understood, and we moved on, but I couldn’t stop wondering why I got so upset over something so small. Maybe there is nothing more infuriating than that hot and alone feeling that no one understands you, that feeling of being misread, misunderstood. It’s so sharp and clear inside of our own heads, and there’s this sense of betrayal when we realize we’re alone inside of them, and that we have to do the work to express what we mean. If the greatest feeling in the world is to be understood, then the worst is its opposite. But we literally get up every day and wander through the world, expressing what we want and who we are and hoping to God that someone else gets it. Because it’s worth it, right? JUST MAYBE NOT OVER ZOOM.

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