(inspired by a true story)

If I’d known you were coming I’d a baked a cake

Then attempted to flip the cake out of its pan with a 25 lb baby strapped to me so the cake just sort of flopped out all over the stovetop in multiple pieces and then I would have just sort of stood there for a minute, looking at it, feeling a crushing sense of failure of my own making because I tried to do too many things, then I would have decided to rescue the failure into small pieces of cake failure and plate them attractively, and then course make ANOTHER, better looking cake, to compensate, even if it means taking back out all of the baking things I had already cleaned and put away, even if it means neglecting other life tasks, because I cannot, and I WILL not, present just a broken cake as a token of both my obsessive productivity and my love, and so it is in fact TWO CAKES THAT I WOULD HAVE BAKED.