Heavy Metal

It came to light a few months back that there are potentially unsafe levels of metal in many baby foods, including, this just in, the ‘organic’ puree pouches we’ve been giving Joe for the last few months. Upon discovering for the millionth time that Organic is an illusion, a consumer issue, not a truth, I dramatically threw all of the pouches in the trash and vowed, also dramatically, to make his food myself, whenever possible. There will be NO metal in my son until he’s in high school and he pierces his own ear in the bathroom then tries to hide it from me but then it gets infected so I find out about it anyways, and as I tend to it with a cotton ball of hydrogen peroxide I say Joe, I get it, I did the same thing when I was your age, you’re just fulfilling a visceral need to gain control over your own body and depart the structure of your upbringing and he’s like MOM YOU’RE RUINING IT

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