With each of Joe’s new phases come fresh worries. We’re starting to give him solid foods and My brain synapses are lighting up like the HOT NOW sign outside of a Krispy Kreme. This week’s fresh hot worry donut is, what do I do if he chokes? I took a terrifying online infant CPR / choking prevention class yesterday, and while I printed off the handouts and put them in the kitchen, I feel maybe MORE terrified. The click of the fake baby’s chest as Jessica the NICU Nurse pumped at it with her dead mascara eyes haunted my dreams. And I’m not even sure if I retained any information. My brain doesn’t WANT to know what to do if Joe chokes, because that means accepting that it might actually Happen. CPR must stand for Can’t Possibly Remember. Something about tipping the chin up, not worrying if you hurt them, something about you don’t stop until help comes. If your child is choking, does your brain search for and locate a Webinar? No, it screams, swells, and Acts. I HOPE I NEVER KNOW.