Morrison: Hey, so I was thinking it’d nice if you took some time off from working over the holidays.

Me:….what? No. Why?

Morrison: okay Scrooge. Because it’s Christmas? And that’s what’s normal regular people do?

Me: I mean, I’m not going to work Christmas DAY. I’m not a MONSTER.

Morrison: no, I mean like, take a substantial amount of time off.

Me: interesting. So I could just….not work?

Morrison: yeah, exactly, and we could all just like hang out as a family!

Me: I am REALLY liking this idea.

Morrison: oh good, I think it’ll be really nice to — wait, what’re you doing?

Me: I’m making a list of all of the things I want to get done while I’m not working.

(Morrison is silent and all knowing as I fill in my own blanks)

Me: OH GOD, I AM A MONSTER