When choosing a Wubbanub for one’s child — which is baby word for pacifier with stuffed animal attached to it, another in a long list of words I never knew and also never knew I’d say — it’s important to choose a creature that you don’t mind SUMMONING CONSTANTLY. Even better: something that’s kind of absurd to shout. For example, we have a Sloth that lives in the living room, and a Dragon that lives in Joe’s room, which is when he usually needs it, so this means that 40 times a day I find myself shouting at myself, or at Morrison, adrenaline spiking, WHERE IS THE DRAGON?! or with so much rage, I THOUGHT THE DRAGON WAS HERE! and I really wouldn’t have it any other way. Also available from Wubbanub: HAVE YOU SEEN THE CATERPILLAR?! and WHERE THE F**K IS THE BAT?!

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