ears peeled

Ever since Joe’s arrival, my hearing is sharper. It’s like some cotton from one of my many childhood ear infections was left inside and when I gave birth it was spotted, taken out, and suddenly, I can really, actually hear. Especially at night, I have a lion’s ears, never fully sleeping, always listening for danger or prey. EVERY SINGLE SOUND might be Joe’s cry. The neighbor’s dog, Cracker licking water from his bowl, someone rolling over in a creaky bed five blocks away, some mustard falling over in the fridge, it’s all Joe. Even sounds that I myself make could be him. This morning he coughed and the sound came from inside of my brain. Maybe for Mothers the sixth sense is not seeing dead people, but maybe her heart grows ears, her fingers become ears and her belly button too, her breath can listen so that when she leaves a room, her ears are still in it, so that she can be Everywhere.

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