Parent Words

One day you’re an adult with a master’s degree, you live in a house that you bought and you read Op-eds and take calls from your Lawyer, and the next day you’re a Parent and you ask your spouse, with the most serious of voices, a voice you would use with your lawyer regarding back end points, was it a Poopy diaper, or was it just wet? and demand with the highest of stakes, are we out of wipes? and IS THIS THE RIGHT SIZE NIPPLE? and you find yourself bouncing your kid in your living room very genuinely singing an original song Yep, You’ve Got a Fart, so committed and performative as if people have bought tickets to hear you sing, and your husband is no longer a lover you kissed in a parking lot, he is Dad, and you ask Dad desperately, Did he go down? Is he down?! because Down all the sudden means Asleep. And you say to Dad, I’m going down for a nap, because you both speak Baby now, and no one taught you how to speak it, you didn’t take a class, you didn’t use an app, you just woke up speaking it, so you swaddle yourself as the books have shown you, and you put yourself Down, fall asleep briefly, wake up wondering, IS HE STILL DOWN? OR IS HE UP?

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