As the days pass, Morrison and I keep remembering surreal little bits of our hospital stay, like we ate mushrooms a few weeks ago and are now just recalling all that we saw and did. The thing that keeps making me laugh the most (because yes, some of it was funny, shouldn’t some of it always?) are my responses to the nurses when they asked me how I was feeling. I was hilariously shocked to be in pain, and as is my nature, I suffered NOISILY. It kept going something like:
Nurse: How’re you doing?
Me: I have a question. It hurts in my stomach, like really bad. Is it supposed to hurt?
Nurse: ….yes! That’s the surgery.
Me: but it really hurts. Like it stings, right here.
Nurse: yes, that’s normal, that’s a normal thing after the surgery you just had.
Me: So the incision is supposed to hurt?
Nurse: Yes, unfortunately, that’s part of it.
Me: Okay but also it hurts to stand and it hurts to move and it hurts when I bend down.
Nurse: …still the surgery, that you just had.
Me: SO IT’S SUPPOSED TO HURT?
Me: I FEEL LIKE I’VE BEEN CUT OPEN
Nurse: You have.
Me: AND LIKE SOMETHING WAS RIPPED FROM ME
Nurse: Also yes. More drugs?
Me: YESTERDAY, PLEASE, BUT FIRST IF YOU COULD STOP HAVING THREE FACES THAT WOULD BE AMAZING