Baby prep classes are super overwhelming and emotional and weird and even weirder over Zoom. I thought we wouldn’t be able to top that time in our Prepped class where all of the pregnant people got on our hands and knees and our partners got behind us and tried to find and dig their hands into our sacrums, and if you looked at the computer screen, it was just all of these little boxes of couples on their living room floors — but then yesterday, we took Baby Care Basics, which required us to diaper and swaddle anything we could find in the house with legs and a torso, which obviously was a stuffed robot. IT WAS NOT LOST ON CRACKER THAT IT COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN HIM.

(HIM WATCHING US, TERRIFIED, LITERALLY THE ENTIRE CLASS.)