He Moves / He Doesn’t

I can now officially feel the baby moving. Sometimes he kicks affirmatively when Morrison says something wise, sometimes he sort of celebrates with a full body rotation when I take literally anything out of the oven. We’ve established a really comforting daily routine, which is:

  • I just felt him move! Isn’t life MAGIC? Isn’t it all so WONDERFUL?
  • Hmm. I haven’t felt him move in like ten minutes. That’s fine.
  • Yesterday he was definitely moving now.
  • Still haven’t felt him move but now it’s been like two hours.
  • No I’m definitely sure yesterday he was definitely moving during this entire block of time.
  • Maybe I’ll ask him to move or like focus really hard on feeling him move
  • Still not moving
  • (Morrison accuses me of trying to make a moment with him, tells me to leave him alone)
  • (I yell at Morrison)
  • WHY ISN’T HE MOVING
  • I’M GOING TO GOOGLE WHY HE ISN’T MOVING
  • I’M GOING TO CRY IN THE SHOWER BECAUSE HE’S NOT MOVING
  • IT’S OVER, EVERYTHING IS OVER

And then, at this exact moment of peak despair, he moves. The smallest of jabs, like, Oh hey. It’s okay. I’m here.

  • Isn’t life magic?
  • Isn’t it all so wonderful?
  • Isn’t this cycle something I will probably live through as a Mother, EACH DAY AND FOREVER?

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