Me:….Hello?

Very Very Nice Telemarketer Guy: HELLO! This is MARK! Calling from the Geffen THEATER! The Geffen Theater would like to thank you for being a subscriber in the past, and would like to invite you to subscribe to our upcoming SEASON! In fact, our first show starts previews September TENTH! Do you know anything about the show?

Me:….Yes! I wrote it!

(A long pause in which Mark either cries or stabs a pen into his leg.)

Mark: ….I thought your name sounded familiar! I’m so sorry!

Me: No worries, Mark! I’ll be there.

Mark: Hahahahahahahaha I would hope so hahahahahahahahahahaha

Me: Mark?

Mark: Hmm?

Me: Be nice to yourself today.

Mark: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Me: Do I need to come hug you?

Mark: NO IT’S OKAY SEE YOU AT THE THEATER