HUGE NEWS! I just found out that Katie Holmes has signed on to star in my movie adaptation of the Secret, which I’ve been working on on and off for quite some time. How, you ask, did I receive this news? FROM THE INTERNET. This is apparently how it goes in Hollyweird. There you are, mindlessly eating your lunch, getting mayonnaise in your hair, when suddenly the internet informs you that you just had a baby. You knew you were pregnant, yes, but it was three years ago. BUT GUESS WHAT YOU ARE NOW A MOM! Very thrilled at this news, regardless of how I received it / secreted it / THE SECRET.