this year’s

Valentine’s Day is different every year. Sometimes it’s feeling really sad but at the same time really good about how very much alone you are, and taking your laptop on a date to a weird diner and eating all of said diner’s pasta and writing things no one will ever see. For me, two years ago, it was a terrible breakup immediately followed by a perfectly timed bronchial infection.   So then LAST year,  because the year before was so gnarly, I flew AWAY FROM THE DAY, went to Costa Rica, spent the evening at airport bar where an old man sitting with his wife  sent me a glass of wine and said if I were twenty years younger! and his wife said He’s right! He means it, he really means it, and I’m sitting right here! ‘ But this year it just so happens that I have a pretty wonderful man in my  life (a sentence I’m not sure I’ve ever thought / embraced…. Am I finally old enough to start calling boys men?)

A master of surprise, he snuck into my apartment, and left flowers there,

Packed me a bag full of adventure items, then kidnapped me and took me  to Paradise, which today was  a hike down in the greenest Malibu you ever did see, down to where they used to film Mash.

The best part: I didn’t have to think about a single. Thing. That’s the real gift, when someone knows you well enough that all you are doing is constantly worrying and thinking about things, and removes that worry, so you can just — be. And eat all of the Swedish Fish that he bought knowing, also, that also, you will probably be needing some of those.

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