This college professor from Missouri runs marathons WHILE KNITTING SCARVES to raise $ and awareness for Alzheimer’s. He’ll be running the NYC one this weekend, and since knitting needles propose a security threat, he will be knitting a twelve foot scarf while running WITH HIS FINGERS*.

HE CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU

(no he can’t)

YES HE CAN

(no he can’t)

YES HE CAN

*Editor’s note: I just realized that this makes it sound like he will be running with his fingers. This amuses me, so I will leave it, but will also propose this rephrase: He will be knitting a twelve foot scarf with his fingers WHILE RUNNING.