Dear whoever stole 80 bucks out of my wallet or perhaps found it on the ground after it fell out:

Here are a list of things that you are doing with my money that makes the fact that I lost it palatable. Please adhere.

1.) You are feeding your family.

2.) You are a friend of mine and secretly took it it to buy me a present that is beyond my wildest hopes and dreams (maybe I dream of presents.)

3.) 1/20th of a plane ticket somewhere fun.

4.) You are donating it to a charitable cause.

5.) You are making this fish.

Please do not spend my money on:

1.) Your webseries

2.) Juice

3.) Crack