Since I live alone and sans pet, I’ve taken to talking to my Bed. This is not whimsy or sketch comedy. These are literally things I have found myself creepily saying aloud to my bed:
– You’re my only friend.
– How was YOUR day?
– YOU’RE GONNA GET IT.
– We belong to the nightttttt.
Annnnndddddd thus continues my fervent journey to become so good at being alone that no one will ever marry me, or at least, if anyone were ever to propose said marriage, I would just be like, wait, you want me to do WHAT?