One of my favorite character archetypes is Really Stupid Hot guy. I just want to touch them and charm them with my extensive vocabulary. Their abs, their lips, their penchant for weed and unnecessary toplessness! Their tendency to only eat chicken tenders! How they don’t know Words! So as a storyteller AND as a woman, I very much respond to Ryan Lochte. This deliciously stupid swim star now has his own reality show. Here is is, five minutes after his goif of 4 years dumps him over the phone.

At first he’s pensive, sad. But then a buddy posits:

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I can’t wait to watch even more instead of things that could potentially enrich my life.

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