The Rapist

Inspired by health insurance and its co-pays, I recently started seeing a cognitive therapist. I’ve always wanted to go to a therapist, especially since studying with Chris Shinn at the New School, who firmly believes that all writers should be in therapy, to better understand their own thinking. But for a while, plays themselves have been my therapy, I think.  Now trying a go at the real thing:  not to only better understand myself,  but be better at being me? It’s nice to take an hour a week and think about why I do what I do, and what I want to be doing, and other do-related things. My gal specifically doesn’t have me ramble about my feelings, but instead, helps me figure out how to change my behavior, or I guess that life patterns I’m stuck in. One thing I’ve noticed: whenever I bring up something that I do, I immediately start rambling about why I do it. Not just literally why, but the psychological reasons behind the obvious reasons. I wonder if this is because I’m a playwright and all I ever do is try to get inside of people’s heads and think about the deep reasoning behind their actions? I wonder if this is really annoying to a therapist, the fact that I’m constantly explaining or justifying? I should probably ask my therapist.

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